Closing Out the Year

Here we are again with the season of Christmas hovering over us.  There is so much to acknowledge and write about during this time of year that it becomes difficult to select a topic that might appeal to the reader. However, here is my attempt.

It has been a year of change for our family. I believe the change is for the better. My working grant has been approved through the end of next year at least. That was a relief.

The month of May brought unwanted events into our life, including the loss of my sole surviving sister. I wrote of her in an earlier post. Also my son has had to move to a new stage in his life due to his wife choosing to leave him. I will not comment on the latter as much as I would like to, so I will leave that subject here.

My wife and I had decided to get rid of our old car—the Cadillac had seen its usefulness and was going to cost more to maintain than it was worth. Thus we have reverted to purchasing a smaller, more economical vehicle, a 2013 Ford Focus that is serving us well so far.

For Thanksgiving we took our travel trailer to Lake Hensley for 4 day outing. Had a great time even though the fishing was bad no catching. Micah enjoyed walking the area taking pictures with his Nikon. He got some good shots that would make great pictures to enlarge and frame for the wall. Our friends came up from Madera on Saturday and spent some time visiting with us.

We continue to serve at the church with more exposure of our abilities and recognition. Serving holds many blessings and rewards that cannot be expressed. We know God has opened doors that no man can shut and as we walk through he is our source.

Our plans are for a seven-day vacation in Southern California at the Disneyland Resort. Our great friends are loaning us their RV again. We will be meeting with the wife’s niece and family and relaxing away from our hum drum ways of the valley.

May you find the strength of our God in your life too.

Growing Old--er

As I mature (grow older), the times of my past that remain memorable are significantly different than I anticipated. The time I spent with family is always foremost in my thoughts. Special gatherings at holiday and summertime were always meaningful and hold great memories.

I cherish my thoughts of military service and the opportunity I had to travel to the Far East, although at times it was difficult. The good always outweighs the bad.

My work with the Social Security Administration was fruitful and often satisfying as I was able to assist many deserving people. Sometimes the working conditions proved challenging and some of my choices got me irritated, but I was blessed.

I will not elaborate on the above areas at this time.....

The full time ministry experience was a big challenge. I was naïve in many instances thinking that the particular organizational covering me would come to my rescue and offer opportunity for advancement and recognition. Boy! Was I fooled about that. I am pleased to be out of that “good ole boys club”.

The challenge to be integrated into a large church has become a real eye-opener. This is perhaps why I have made the comment above. Inclusiveness and exclusiveness play major roles in the integration process. Those can be hurtful matters of the willing heart as I have personally experienced.

We have been graciously received as leaders within the realm of the large church ministry. Our experiences in these capacities are spiritually mind-opening as well as eye-opening.

The basic premise of Christianity is to get the message of Jesus out to those in the world, explain in simplicity what they must do to receive salvation, guide them through Scripture, encourage and protect. It is crucial to avoid judgment on their life-style habits. “There is therefore no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus.”

My growth in righteousness supersedes any other expectations placed upon me by my peers. Everyone must “work out their own salvation with fear and trembling”. Do not judge or preach at me for positions I have declared, "judge not lest you be judged with greater judgment".

We are all learning and growing together for the benefit of His Kingdom that is to come. Lets evangelize the world in harmony of the intended brotherhood example of Jesus.

Another Milestone

Yesterday I celebrated my sixty-seventh birthday with a regular daily schedule for a Tuesday. I went to work and did what I usually do. I was wished happy birthday by coworkers without much to do about anything.

I knew it was my birthday, but it was just another day in history for me.

The media celebrated with a presidential debate that I watched with a couple of interruptions for most of the early evening. I was not shocked with the mannerisms of the liberal moderator, it was expected. November 6 will be the deciding point.

No special dinner or anything. I did buy a carrot cake Saturday to be part of my low key celebration, but I didn't eat any last night -- it will be good tonight along with BBQ tri-tip.

I received birthday greetings on Facebook, including some nice words of appreciation. That made me feel pretty fine. I especially like the idea that most people do not think I am really that old . . . looking good.  I had one person guess I was about fifty-eight. Love it!

All in all it was just another day. I do not have the physical stamina like I used to, but that comes with the territory. My focus must be upon my call to be a true witness of Jesus Christ, which only requires a functioning mind and lighter skills.



 

ARE WE THERE YET?

If you’ve ever traveled with children you have experienced the question: “Are we there yet?” The little people are anxious to get to the destination based on what information they have. They do not know all the intricate turns, stops, possible traffic delays, and distance to the planned destination. A long stretch of road is pretty boring to a child as well as the adult. They really need to learn how to enjoy the journey.

Do you ever think you have “arrived”, --- arrival at a place of purpose? The answer to this question is always slipping from my grasp in spite of my meticulous planning to reach my destination. I want to revert to that childhood question, “Am I there yet?”, and experience my destination immediately. Yes, absurd when everything is considered, but it is the way I am.

 My involvement in church has brought many experiences -- good and bad. Yeah, I know, church is supposed to be a safe place but the dilemma is that it is filled with people like me; people who have been hurt and hurt others in turn. I want to be in that perfect place with the presence of a loving heavenly father minus the entire trauma. Maybe I’ll just close my eyes like the child in the back seat and sleep until we’ve arrived.

I have worked in church ministry my entire adult life, which amounts to over 50 years. I am more certain now than ever that I haven’t “arrived”. There is so much to be accountable for. The imperfection of our progression is all too obvious. Things happen. People interfere. Detours mess up our plans. Breakdowns occur.

I thought I “arrived” when I started teaching Sunday school when I was only 16 years old, but that wasn’t it. I escaped to serve in the USAF for a stint and traveled to the Far East during the Viet Nam era. I was definitely not where I wanted to be; Europe was my place of choice. I still wasn’t there.

Upon return stateside I returned to teach again, this time an adult class, where everybody was older than me, had I really “arrived”? The answer is a resounding “NO”.  Challenges were there and I did my best in humility to accept them. I was still not there yet.

It was years later when I finally thought, “I’ve arrived’. Yep, I accepted a pastorate and moved my family into an old mice and cockroach infested parsonage. (I was sacrificing for the sake of ministry--- or so I thought.) Within three years the church building had a severe roof condition that required complete renovation. I knew I hadn’t got there when it took more than two years of repair to retrofit the roof and redesign the building; the challenges were overwhelming because money was the big issue. And this was only one of the major problems I faced. The moment never really “arrived” for me here. There were heights of some glory and joy, but something kept driving me to press on to a destination.

I was still looking for my destination after more years went by. I figured I was proceeding in faith to see what I could do to turn around a floundering church without much success and even less glory. Sometimes I became part of the floundering around. Problems became the nature of the beast always overriding the best of times. I experienced the attitudes of the Laodicea congregation, the Ephesus Church, Corinth, Ephesus, Philippi, and others throughout my tenure as a pastor. It was hard times, and I know in retrospect I hadn’t “arrived” in any of those situations.

At a more recent point in my life God allowed someone to close the door on my pastoral effort and I was inexplicably devastated. My “departure” in getting to a destination was really getting messed up in my opinion. The unprofessional manner this dismissal was handled remain a puzzle to me. It is difficult to wrap my mind around such an incident. It becomes like the tragic highway accident while I’m on my way to my destination. Fortunately it wasn’t fatal but it required time and extensive “hospitalization” and “therapy” outside my usual comfort zones.

Well, age has brought some wisdom my way. I am now resigned to look at matters through God’s eyes and align my agenda with His more determinedly than ever. It certainly took longer than I wanted but the journey continues. Lessons have been difficult but I’m intending to pass the final exam and reach my destination of fulfilling His will. I will trust Him to get me there and enjoy the journey as the “miles” role by. I refuse to let the devil steal the joy he didn’t give me in the first place.

 

..... And no, I'm not there yet.

HOT!

August has come in with a fury of triple digit heat here in the valley! As I write this at 9:18 pm on this Thursday evening, I think an egg would still fry on the sidewalk outside. It is HOT!

There really isn't much to compose about for this blog. Life goes on in a seeming routine, which can be good.

This is the second week of the Olympics and I am kinda burned out on watching the events. However, I am pleased that our USA teams are doing well at this point leading with 90 medals all totalled. Go USA!

Work is . . . well work. Same ole, same ole! It is all about the lack of funding for the most part leading to shortage of staff to do the work. I am thankful for my job though.

Well, I'm going to terminate this post and get on with some other stuff. Check in later for some more ponderings.

My Battle With ET

Essential tremor is a physical disorder I have experienced for most of my adult life. During the early stages it was not recognized by the medical professionals; it was often misdiagnosed as Parkinsons disease. I was not on any medication for the disorder until the early 1990’s.  Treatment is not a cure although some medications can reduce tremor. The prognosis is not enlightening. I was told by my neurologist that the condition would progressively worsen with age and there was no known cure. Brain surgery is still in the experimental stages with no absolute solution at this time.

Basically I have tremor that is incorrectly observed as nervousness. I am generally not nervous except when people assume my tremor is a result of being nervous and express it that way. My appeal is for people to avoid stressing me by calling attention to the tremor.

Others can experience tremor in their head or lower extremities. For me it is most noticeable in my left hand, with a residual transferring to the right hand for an attempt to lessen the left hand tremor. I am learning to cope more effectively by keeping informed on the condition through the International Essential Tremor Foundation. I have limited my public activity for these reasons but realize now that all of us have some disorder function in our bodies, mine is just more noticeable. Coping is difficult when tasks of socialization involve holding articles with hands extended.

My medication for ET is currently Inderal or Propranolol and Phenobarbital. The combination of the drugs seems to assist in reducing the hand tremor considerably unless I get extremely exhausted from physical exertion. Stress contributes to the aggravation as well.  I also can become very sleepy after a few hours; for this reason, I take the medication at bedtime. I am trying to keep the dosage as low as possible. I am medically monitored since Phenobarbital can have side effects. Recently I ran out of the Phenobarbital and noticed increased tremor and inability to control fine motor skills of both hands. Once I started the medication again the tremor was greatly reduced.

Above all, I am thankful for God’s comfort and peace. In spite of the seeming obstruction of these tremors I am able to perform my job well and most people can empathize after explanation. I adjust to that is less embarrassing when necessary.

You can google the subject and find articles that explain the subject of ET with more clarity than given here. This is just briefly my story of the disorder as it has affected my life and choices I have to make. I limit activities that require fine motor skills and steady hands.

Vacation Time

The triple digits have arrived in our valley. Whew, we knew it would happen eventually for a while.

But before these times hit, we Waggonners took a road trip in the RV to Southern California and spent a week at the Disneyland Resort. It was very nice weather there and we seriously enjoyed the new Carsland at Disney California Adventure. I did suffer from blisters on my heels for some bad shoe reason and hobbled around slowly most of the time and leaving the parks early most nights.

Micah has posted pictures on his Facebook page.

We met a real fine couple with their grandkids from Canada and made a connection. There was a lot of Canadians in the RV Park.  The shuttle bus was a good place to converse and meet new people. We had one bad shuttle driver who was as rude as they come, she must have had a very bad day. . . Family didn’t seem interested in meeting us but we had a good time anyway. I guess we have a stigma of sorts, IDK. I consider it their loss.

We now have a lot of house and yard work to accomplish, if it doesn’t get too hot in the weeks to come.

It Is Summer

Wow! It is June 2012 already! Time flies or so it seems.

So far we have only had a few miserably hot days.

Friday I had a late afternoon appointment with the urologist. My PSA had gone back up so it is another prescription and prayerfully it works to cut the reading in half.

We took a nice trip up to Shaver Lake on Saturday for some fishing. Unfortunately the fish weren't biting like we had been told or expected. Therefore we came home fishless. But it was a nice ride and beautiful view.

Sunday we attended service at our church, Koinonia Christian Fellowship and were blessed as usual.

Monday it was back to work as well as Tuesday after my trip to the opthamalogist in V town to schedule cataract surgery on my left eye; that will be this coming Wednesday.

We a planning a vacation for a week and hope all works out for the trip.

Even In Death There Is Hope

May has been a difficult month in 2012.

As reported in earlier posts, my sister, Helen, passed on May 5; I know she is free from pain and suffering in the arms of the Lord.

Simultaneously my son’s wife exited their marriage without so much of a second thought or courtesy word of intent to him or us. She left for a two day visit with her family and never came back. I believe there was a manipulated agenda to leave permanently. In retrospect I can see why. There was so much immaturity and naiveté in her life and influence from uneducated sources. I know it takes two but these things overpowered all reconciliatory possibilities. My son is doing well in spite of it all. His “eyes” are opened to a lot of marital issues that led to this parting.

The work environment is still unsettled with loss of employees and lack of replacements. I am just thankful to have a job that satisfies some of my calling.

However, through it all I put my trust in God. New doors of ministry have opened. I will be serving as a ministry coach for seven Journey Groups in addition to being Point Leader with my wife on First Impressions Team. My wife will also be coaching a group. We will be a support system for these groups to be their counsel and encouragers. We are excited about the opportunity to serve in this new capacity.

I am thankful for the grace of God that fills my being more and more as understanding is opened to me. Liberation from men’s traditions and rules is awesome. The righteousness of Christ has been imputed to me! I want this gospel of grace be shown to all who I encounter in life’s journey.

At the family’s request I am in the process of preparing a prayer and few spoken words to give at my sister memorial service. This is no easy task but I know it is necessary. I do not want to be flippant about her living 82 years and it had become her time to leave earth.

To be brief but honoring is my challenge. I must rely upon the Holy Spirit to lead me in my preparation and listen to His advice. She gave value to lives she was able to touch. She was Nanny to so many.

I always want my dialogue to flow in thought and content. Words are not the only expression that comes from the depth of my being. Tears flow as well. I can remember so many instances of goodness that flowed from her. She was a refreshing fountain of provision in many times of my needs.

I pray for guidance and receptiveness of those who hear at the time.

Tribute to My Sister

My family and I said goodbye for a season to my fantastic sister, Helen, on May 5, 2012 at 12:37 a.m. It was bittersweet. She was weary of the weakness of her flesh. We all knew the end was near and she really wanted to see Jesus face to face and said so unreservedly.  I tear up and my heart feels a vacancy as I try to write this tribute which can never tell it all.

She was my second Mom and a grandmother to Micah. Her kindnesses extended beyond family. Many lives were influenced by her love and care. She gave of herself and her substance. She was not afraid of work even when she battled health issues of her heart and lungs.

She was 16 years my senior and according to family accounts, spoiled me. There were the frequent shopping trips to buy me Levis and other clothes from the Boys Store in downtown Visalia after her payday. As an infant I was placed in a banana box at the cashier stand for the market she worked in.

I was very upset as a preteen when she and Lawrence picked up and moved to Santa Cruz. She always treated me as an equal with her own kids. When Mom and Dad were in financial hard times, every payday she would put a check in the mail special delivery to help with expenses when her own family probably could have used the money too.

When I joined the Air Force she was a bit upset that my enlistment date was on her birthday. I remember a humongous box of chocolate chip cookies while in basic and was able to share with the whole flight.  We had to eat them because I had no place to keep them.

In 1973 when our Mom died, Dad and I went to live with her and Lawrence and just became part of their family unit until I married. She had a daycare in the home and worked tirelessly with the babies and toddlers in her care, often usurping the law by having too many children in her care at one time. But she could handle it with a matronly strength that amazes me. After all she was Nanny! With all that responsibility she still took care of Dad and I, preparing meals and doing laundry. I do remember that she made sure my dinner was expedited on church nights so I wouldn’t miss, though she never went.

We would often joke about her naiveté on certain matters. But she never got seriously offended that I can remember. She would get all giddy and embarrassed like a school girl in some of those discussions.

When I got married she wasn’t too sure I knew what I was doing. She was my protective Momma at that time; but through time she had come to warmly and lovingly accept Carolyn as a sister-in-law. In the last few years Carolyn would clip her fingernails and toenails and give her a foot massage. The fact is that a couple of days before she passed she asked Carolyn to clip her fingernails which she did.

Baking and cooking were a big part of her passion. The best of cookies, pies and candies, especially at holiday times were spread on tables and kitchen counters. In her house you were not allowed to go hungry.

The book of Proverbs  31:28-29 says,

Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:  "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." NIV

I would add that her entire family and friends do likewise.

Helen leaves an awesome heritage:  children, grandchildren, great grandchildren. In her final days she prayed for all of them faithfully. Her mobility was limited by the broken bones but her spirit was strong to the end.

Sis, there is no words to describe how we loved you so. We are all happy you are at rest in heaven, free from pain. We miss you here but my plans are to be reunited in God’s time and plan. Please show the angels how to make chocolate chip cookies and we will have a party upon my arrival

Update

A lot has happened since my last blog posting.

A major event was eye surgery for cataracts on my right eye. I entered into the decision to have the surgery with a little trepidation but yet a confidence that I could handle it. Much to my amazement it was the peace of God that made it so easy to go through with it. My vision is so much clearer in the right eye that I can hardly wait for the left to be done. Through the process I owe my wife a debt of gratitude for her willingness to nurse me with the required eye-drops that seem unending.

We also allowed our Journey Group to expire with only a few meetings because of my surgery and low enrollment. Now I have been extended the opportunity to become a coach for four to five of the other group leaders. 

I have also made myself available to teach any of the classes the church is offering for training. These include Discovery and Starting Point classes.

Work has become challenging. A co-worker has left under stress and stressed-out the agency and the remaining employees. My workload is greatly increased, at least temporarily. Funding of our programs is greatly reduced and vacancy replacement is questionable at this time.

This past weekend I did help my son, Micah build a work table. I think it turned out pretty good. A little bit of drama resulted but I believe it to be resolved.

And so much for recent events that I recall . . .

Two Ears, One Mouth

The expression about listening twice as much as you speak based upon anatomy; having two ears and one mouth, has been a great part of my philosophy.  Speaking without thinking is dangerous. Jumping to a stated conclusion before listening to all the facts can kill.

I have served on juries for our court system and it is evident that listening is crucial to fairness, albeit the system is not necessarily perfect. I say it is better than many other systems of so called justice and deliberation.

Gossip is a killer of the  spirit when tainted with untruths or embellished for presentation. Actually it can be defined as lies.

The media of our day allows for much interchange of opinion. It must be understood that opinion must be distinguished from fact. Perspective is important. Editorial comments are often made in the rage of the moment adding more confusion to the issue at hand.

Before putting our mouth in gear or fingers to keyboard, we should seriously consider the value of our comment or interpretation of facts. Even the content of the original expression should be weighed carefully.

Remember, “two ears, one mouth.”

Maturity

Wow! This word can really get to you when you experience it firsthand. The definitions for maturity include: the state of being fully grown or developed; the condition of being ripe, fully aged, or fully grown, especially mentally or emotionally; time or readiness for repayment.

To discuss maturity in light of Christianity can be a challenging task. There are many approaches to assessing the stages of maturity. Scripture addresses it in the book of Hebrews chapter 5:

“There is much more we would like to say about this, but it is difficult to explain, especially since you are spiritually dull and don’t seem to listen. ¹² You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. ¹³ For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. “ 

Those may seem to be harsh words but an apparent difficulty in fulfillment of the Christian life. The hard part of maturity is to move forward and be progressive without “backsliding.” Traditions and rituals can become like acid rain upon a productive life. The productive fruit is damaged at varying points. 

Understanding our fellow man is crucial to maturity. We must weigh environment and influences and live the wholesome (holy) life before them as a witness. We need not compromise but exhibit grace and mercy.  

If God is love, then we also must exhibit His characteristic. Allow the truth to set free, not antics of religiosity. It becomes a matter of transformation from the inside out. 

Too many have literally been in the way too long. It is time to move over and let the Spirit of the Lord do the work. We are powerless to give eternal life. Eternal life comes only through the Son whose life was offered in exchange for redemption of the lost. 

The world we live in is fast paced and taxing to the spirit of man. Humanity needs the calming that comes through a right relationship. We are promised a peace that passes all understanding. This would be the confidence we have in the Provider of all things, our source. 

We strive to perfection, i.e., maturity with a focus on God. He has provided an instruction guide on how to reach those goals. This book is the Bible. This book must be taken in its entirety, not by selective bits and pieces that fit our personal theology. It is a two edged sword and will defend and offend.

It is time to grow up in our most holy faith. And . . . it is a continual process.

Thoughts

I have recently commented on my social networks about the freedom I have found by detaching myself from the roots of confining religious thought. It has been a difficult journey to accept but advantageous to comprehending God's direction and purpose for the calling he has given upon my life.

I have learned much through the constriction of my background. It hasn't harmed me but may have well failed in my success to witness. Liberty in Christ is vital to effective evangelism of the unchurched.

The judgmental attitude does nothing to enhance the communication of the Gospel of Christ. It is, in fact, most likely detrimental in most cases.

If you are of the persuasion that God looks on outward appearance to judge, then you are definitely on the wrong path to effective witnessing. Scripture is most clear on this but often set aside to place conviction upon the "lost soul,"

I know I cannot place my personal convictions on another. Each of us must work out our own salvation with fear and trembling as the Apostole Paul clearly states. When I put my convictions upon you, I fail to minister the Gospel.

Experience freedom: Let the Son of  God set you free. Believe on Him. Receive eternal life and let the Spirit reveal truth as you travel this new road to reward.

Is it time for therapy again?

 Perhaps there are events that cause frustration and confusion unnecessarily but I must learn to grow through them. My testing is special because I am considered special by the one who created me. It is not that He allows the trouble to beset me, but rather that He utilizes it to the advantage of the Kingdom He is building.

Hurtful offenses have come to me personally and through my family. Most recently there has been an instance involving my wife in particular. I feel the affront was unwarranted but perhaps done out of self protection by the individual.

My wife has willingly been a servant with opportunity that fades with so much miscommunication that it sickens my heart for her. I do not believe the leadership involved truly understands the way they put out information to her. However, I can only pray that it will be revealed to them.

I am frustrated that the attacks come to her from the Christian community. I know her well after 28 years of marriage. There is no malice on her part to usurp authority or be in the spotlight; she just wants to do what God has put in her heart. Those who hinder her abilities will hopefully learn and make things right again.

Acceptance of events has been crucial to our moving forward regardless of apologies or not. Life is full of speed bumps along the way we travel. It is difficult to avoid misalignment in our life because of the harm the bumps cause to our wheels. Nonetheless must let God fix the alignment His way and move forward.

A little R-E-S-P-E-C-T would be nice!

Time Maches On

Ity has been sevral weeks since I have posted anything here on this blog. I have posted bits and pieces on Facebook and Twitter though. It isn't that I don't have lots of thoughts to be put down, it is a matter of having the energy to sit and type it all out and edit it so that it communicates well.

Everyday is a growing day for me, even at my 66 years of age. Why? Well, positive and negative things help me develop a perspective on life as well as keep the proper perspective for eternity.

We did take a little get-a-way to the lake last week and had a wonderful time. It was tiring in the sense of a lot of walking down to the lake where the kids were fishing and back for lunch, etc. We did meet a wonderful couple who befriended us all, and now we are keeping in touch via Facebook. This trip did require a lot of preparation with getting the travel trailer road-ready again; it had been setting in the driveway for over four years. The only difficulty was with the slide out, which we had to manually slide out and the hot water heater didn't work. The kids caught eight trout between them. We froze them and will have a fish-fry soon. Can't wait to go again!

Now I am back to work. There seems to be no relief on the volume of work we now have with one worker down. They say there will be no replacement. We will have to wait and see. I can only do so much. Wish I could really fully retire; but the mortgage must be paid.

I guess that will be all for this post.