Reflections

Sometimes it is necessary to come to a stop in our activities and assess our life and progress. It's a time of reflection. This is my recent reflection:

I’ve had a tough few hands dealt my way in the last few years, like most humans at points in their life. I am thankful for the lessons all of them have taught me. My focus is to use the lessons in avoiding going around the same mountain again.

When I entered fulltime ministry in 1998 I had big dreams of leading a large congregation as a senior pastor, with staff and all the accoutrements adjoined thereto. This was in spite of the tiny congregation I was appointed to serve. Well, because of organization structure that pipe dream was mostly nightmares.  Yes, there were good things that happened but there were so many bad things that seemed to overpower the good. I will fault myself for not adhering to the rightful guidance of Scripture in performance of my vocation, but I refuse to take all the blame. Traditions of men and rules of organization usurped so much of God’s plan that it was impossible to keep ends together. Ministry moves on in a different perspective now for me. I leave the politics of such to those aspiring to make names for themselves.

My personal life has been healthy in the physical with the exception of the essential tremor that worsens. My spiritual man was often very sick; I suffered from abandonment by my peers, criticism from the congregation, and many side effects like bitterness tried to grip my very person. But  through time healing and wholeness has come and I am secure in who I am as never before. At times I become opinionated and irritated. But, I know my redeemer lives!

All of my siblings have now passed and I remain on earth to do as God sees fit. I was blessed to have them all as part of my natural family.  I know my days are numbered by God and my trust rests in him. My youth is gone, but I want my wisdom blessed of God to assist me in doing His work. I know I have much to give to others when opportunity arises.

May I always see more than me. The mirror reflects our image. I want to reflect the image of my God. I choose joy in all that confronts me and the reflection reveals the Christ in me.