Reviewing from time to time my past postings I have come to the realization that much offense can be taken. I reaffirm my position of establishing facts that resulted in such postings at the time. I reiterate that I have chosen to move on in spite of the hurt and disappointment befallen me. This is not meant as justification, for only God can justify anyone. My purpose is to show a side that might never be exposed and possibly prevent someone else from falling blindly into a mess or trap that is godless. I hold to what is written. The posts are not done with malice nor intent to harm. I only want people to "wake up and smell the coffee." I am really free from legalism --- I serve a risen Savior!!
Wednesday, April 13, 2011
Saturday, April 2, 2011
My Journal Findings
A few days ago I switched desks with my son. The process meant taking everything out of each desk and transporting it up or down the stairs accordingly. I am pleased with the exchange but now I cannot find some of the paperwork I desperately need. The desks are quite different styles and I had to reconfigure my storage space and reconnect the computer too. I will adjust—because I am not going to switch again!
Diggings can be dirty, but in the dirt and rocks precious metals and diamonds can be harvested.
While looking for some documents I ran across journal notebooks I made almost four years ago. I became distracted by them and had to read some of my writings. At the time I was in a state of frustration, anger, and confusion beyond belief and was not surprised by what I had written. At some point in time I will compile them for a story to be told. But as I reread them I was amazed at the peace I felt over those difficult days. It is not that that entire trauma of those days is totally erased because third parties have not asked for reconciliation, but I am healed and walking in the fullness of God’s grace and direction. Essentially I have shaken the dust off my feet and moved on.
Memories as described in those journals are not all necessarily pleasant. I expressed my emotions as being like a rollercoaster ride. They all contribute to the character we become. These are the events that can help us choose the path we take to our future. In those moments of seeming defeat, victory loomed on the horizon as long as I was willing to continue holding to the truth.
Now I have reached the horizon that seemed so far away. Contentment has enveloped me once again. I cannot worry over the past that will not change. I will walk in the hope of God’s promises and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me along the way to my future. I know why some of the people of the past are not in my present. They make their choice to listen to falsehoods regarding my character. I leave them to God’s hand of judgment. As my wife so aptly says, “the blood is on their hands.” Personally, I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb and look forward to an eternity with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Diggings can be dirty, but in the dirt and rocks precious metals and diamonds can be harvested.
While looking for some documents I ran across journal notebooks I made almost four years ago. I became distracted by them and had to read some of my writings. At the time I was in a state of frustration, anger, and confusion beyond belief and was not surprised by what I had written. At some point in time I will compile them for a story to be told. But as I reread them I was amazed at the peace I felt over those difficult days. It is not that that entire trauma of those days is totally erased because third parties have not asked for reconciliation, but I am healed and walking in the fullness of God’s grace and direction. Essentially I have shaken the dust off my feet and moved on.
Memories as described in those journals are not all necessarily pleasant. I expressed my emotions as being like a rollercoaster ride. They all contribute to the character we become. These are the events that can help us choose the path we take to our future. In those moments of seeming defeat, victory loomed on the horizon as long as I was willing to continue holding to the truth.
Now I have reached the horizon that seemed so far away. Contentment has enveloped me once again. I cannot worry over the past that will not change. I will walk in the hope of God’s promises and allow the Holy Spirit to guide me along the way to my future. I know why some of the people of the past are not in my present. They make their choice to listen to falsehoods regarding my character. I leave them to God’s hand of judgment. As my wife so aptly says, “the blood is on their hands.” Personally, I’ve been washed in the blood of the Lamb and look forward to an eternity with my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
The Parable of the Computer Solution
I recently experienced internet connection problems that I was unable to resolve without assistance. I contacted my ISP server for assistance. Attempting to reasonably respond to automated questions and taking advised actions to correct the computer problems things still didn’t work. I thus proceeded to finally connect with a live technician.
Phoning an IT person that speaks plausible English is frightful because of the extensive outsourcing. The matter was frustrating to me as I am sure it was to the technician on the other side of the world. Finally, the resolution came when I agreed to permit the technician to take remote control of my computer. His training an expertise allowed him to investigate the inner workings that were the source of the problem. He could see the same thing I was and determine more readily a corrective action directly. My problems got solved.
This is an allegory for what Christians need to do in getting their problems of connection fixed. There is often occasions when the stress of life creates viruses in our thinking. We go viral and lose some sensibility of connection with God.
We have the manual (Bible) for life guidance. But often our problems go much deeper and we don’t describe them to fit the biblical response. Our ability to repair and track the difficulty to fix is limited. There is a short circuit somewhere. Maybe the devil has hacked us.
We have community to assist as we attend worship with others. Sometimes the problems get fixed. If the problem isn’t fixed we most likely need to let the Holy Spirit take remote control and enter into our lives more completely. He can see things we don’t and enable us to avoid things that create infections and viruses in our life. We just need to be sure we have dialed in to the right place; we've got to be willing to walk in the spirit.
We must trust God to control our life through the gifting of the Holy Spirit. He gives us strength to face the giant obstacles and point us to solutions for becoming eternal winners.
Phoning an IT person that speaks plausible English is frightful because of the extensive outsourcing. The matter was frustrating to me as I am sure it was to the technician on the other side of the world. Finally, the resolution came when I agreed to permit the technician to take remote control of my computer. His training an expertise allowed him to investigate the inner workings that were the source of the problem. He could see the same thing I was and determine more readily a corrective action directly. My problems got solved.
This is an allegory for what Christians need to do in getting their problems of connection fixed. There is often occasions when the stress of life creates viruses in our thinking. We go viral and lose some sensibility of connection with God.
We have the manual (Bible) for life guidance. But often our problems go much deeper and we don’t describe them to fit the biblical response. Our ability to repair and track the difficulty to fix is limited. There is a short circuit somewhere. Maybe the devil has hacked us.
We have community to assist as we attend worship with others. Sometimes the problems get fixed. If the problem isn’t fixed we most likely need to let the Holy Spirit take remote control and enter into our lives more completely. He can see things we don’t and enable us to avoid things that create infections and viruses in our life. We just need to be sure we have dialed in to the right place; we've got to be willing to walk in the spirit.
We must trust God to control our life through the gifting of the Holy Spirit. He gives us strength to face the giant obstacles and point us to solutions for becoming eternal winners.
Monday, March 7, 2011
A Bit More About Me
I want to take time to give thanks. The computer and in particular the word processing program have been great tools in my life. My age has caused me to continue in progression of benign essential familial tremor affecting my manual writing skills. The tremor in my hands makes it difficult to write legibly. Holding a pen or pencil steady to write is very challenging. I am so thankful to have learned typing in my high school years and rely heavily on this form of composing. My hands tremble but I am able to utilize the keyboard much easier and more quickly than with pen or pencil not to mention the ability to easily correct mistakes before the final draft. The end result is so much neater needless to say.
Many times I prayed for a miracle of deliverance from this affliction. But like the Apostle Paul, I must bear the “thorn in my side” and continue to “run the race.” My life has shown that I have conquered many goals in spite of this tremor. The disability stigma never attached itself to me to prevent some successes. I just have recognized some limitations and work within my ability.
My appeal to an observer would be for understanding; my affliction is not a “nervous condition” in the usual sense. This tremor is a genetic disorder that progresses with age. A self-consciousness about my tremor does often lend to anxiety which can greatly increase the tremor for a time; this would be the “nervous” state. I try to avoid situations that create anxiety as much as possible. These would be stressful situations and difficult confrontations. I do know my limits and try to avoid situations that would bring raised eye brows.
I recall my father facing the same physical issues. He was a strong man and lived to 92.8 years of age. We accepted him and understood his limitations. I understand even better as the genes have been passed to me. He was oft misdiagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and treatment or medication was not an option.
I am saddened that the prognosis for this hindering condition is not good. in essence there is no cure. Medication can assist by slowing adrenal production but has its side effects of drowsiness, slow heart rate, etc.
So what do I do? …… Well, make the best of what comes my way and contribute with what gifts I have been given and continue down the road of life. I cannot worry about how bad it may get. I try to avoid excessive stimulants, i.e., caffeine. The important thing is to appreciate what I have been given, and this includes people in my life that do understand, namely my wife and immediate family.
Many times I prayed for a miracle of deliverance from this affliction. But like the Apostle Paul, I must bear the “thorn in my side” and continue to “run the race.” My life has shown that I have conquered many goals in spite of this tremor. The disability stigma never attached itself to me to prevent some successes. I just have recognized some limitations and work within my ability.
My appeal to an observer would be for understanding; my affliction is not a “nervous condition” in the usual sense. This tremor is a genetic disorder that progresses with age. A self-consciousness about my tremor does often lend to anxiety which can greatly increase the tremor for a time; this would be the “nervous” state. I try to avoid situations that create anxiety as much as possible. These would be stressful situations and difficult confrontations. I do know my limits and try to avoid situations that would bring raised eye brows.
I recall my father facing the same physical issues. He was a strong man and lived to 92.8 years of age. We accepted him and understood his limitations. I understand even better as the genes have been passed to me. He was oft misdiagnosed with Parkinson’s disease and treatment or medication was not an option.
I am saddened that the prognosis for this hindering condition is not good. in essence there is no cure. Medication can assist by slowing adrenal production but has its side effects of drowsiness, slow heart rate, etc.
So what do I do? …… Well, make the best of what comes my way and contribute with what gifts I have been given and continue down the road of life. I cannot worry about how bad it may get. I try to avoid excessive stimulants, i.e., caffeine. The important thing is to appreciate what I have been given, and this includes people in my life that do understand, namely my wife and immediate family.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Looking Back But Looking Forward
In an earlier blog post of January 11, 2010 I gave positive and uplifting praise to a church congregation we had been associated with. Several months have lapsed since any contact has been made with them or their leadership. For an undeclared reason our acceptance has vanished. This blog is intended to address the whys and wherefores from my experience and observation.
I was presented with probable reconnection again in the next few months at the time of the previous blog posting. It would be an opportunity to minister to our friends once again. As of this post not word one has been received to return for ministry and renew fellowship.
I think it sad but oddly humorous how certain concepts and respect is cast aside over diminutive misconceptions. I believe this particular estrangement has a source attached to the marital issues of my son’s wedding to a girl from this church. There were many issues on the conducting of the ceremony involving my wife and me. How sad for them that communication failed. My words of mild rebuke in a phone conversation shortly after the wedding with their minister about some difficulties and the lack of maturity in their constituency appear to have bearing on the root cause of this detachment. I called it like I saw it. No follow up has been offered.
My statement about wanting to be in heaven with them has taken a back seat at this time. Heaven cannot be a place of broken relationships over mundane matters. Reconciliation will have to come somewhere along the way; Scripture mandates it. There has been no expression of love and appreciation that I previously felt from anyone. In fact a cold reception was felt during the wedding which gives credence to my explanation. Something changed. Apparently that church as a whole has taken offense to us. Thus my respect for them has faded in this field of the dark unknown.
My reasoning for this conclusion lies in the ungodly gossip that exists within the confines of the church. I find this to be an on-going problem in most congregations that I observed within the organization that I have parted company with. The negative response may be due to our finding and expressing true freedom we have in Christ. We are willing to please Him alone and enjoy the life He provides. We are not condemned but set free to take pleasure in the abundance he showers upon us without feelings of guilt.
A lack of grounding in the rightful foundations of faith contributes to their conundrum as well. Perhaps offenses were taken of our liberty expressed during the wedding ceremony. Or maybe it was the firmness of how we were going to be participants in the ceremony and celebration. I was the officiating minister at the request of my son, the groom, and my wife provided all labor for decorations at the petition of the bride and her parents. In the future I will avoid illogical compromise to accommodate the wishes of those who have no right to request such. Lesson learned.
I attempted to ground this church community in the Word of God for approximately five years. It has been their choice to forget, respond or ignore. If they wish to remain minute, they should keep doing it the old way with the old mind set. I repent of any contribution I may have made to this circumstance of stunted growth. Emotional moments are not worship no matter how extreme it is; sadly it is merely moments of ecstasy brought about by conviction that passes by Monday morning. The traditionalism of these encounters will be condemned by the very Christ they claim to serve; it is hindering the express purpose of the church to MATURE and GROW! I sincerely have no desire to preach a message to them at this time because of what I fear the message of hardness would be and the rejection I would undoubtedly feel. Only God can direct me to do so and His grace would have to sustain me.
Is this a condemnation from me? Is it a justification for my unwanted disassociation? By no means are those my intents. If it be prophetic in fulfilling my gifting, then so be it; I am only the messenger. The love for their souls remains intact. I do care for them and the memories of great moments with friends; however there are times to move to new heights. Yes, as I stated, our lives have been enriched by knowing them. But now the vein of value has been mined to exhaustion and we proceed to new depths in the eternal kingdom.
I applaud them for being there during our past time of hurt and need. But now I prod them to move to greater depths in Christ. I encourage them to refuse to be stagnant and live in a rut of traditionalism that will blind and consume true passion for God. This is a sad scenario for a potentially awesome community of believers. Small thinking will hinder propagating the Gospel of Jesus Christ that sets men free. It is time to assess your place and take affirmative action to repent and do the work God has called you to. Get out of your comfort zone! Let change come in your worship after you have waited for the Holy Spirit to direct with an open mind. Do not become obstinate in your stance for that will only hinder your progress.
Speaking metaphorically I have been in the belly of the fish, the lion’s den, the prison of despair, exiled to Patmos, chased out of the city, beat up and robbed by thieves, slandered by friends and hung out to dry, shipwrecked upon the sea, and even stood before a firing squad. Through it all I have learned to trust in God alone, faith in Him has made be strong . . . bring it on! I waited for the Holy Spirit and worshipped the God I serve. I am equipped to fight in the warfare of good versus evil. I can witness of His power and might and do the works I’ve been sent to do. The blessings of God far outweigh the poundings of the enemy.”I will lift up my head . . . my help comes from the Lord.”
I was presented with probable reconnection again in the next few months at the time of the previous blog posting. It would be an opportunity to minister to our friends once again. As of this post not word one has been received to return for ministry and renew fellowship.
I think it sad but oddly humorous how certain concepts and respect is cast aside over diminutive misconceptions. I believe this particular estrangement has a source attached to the marital issues of my son’s wedding to a girl from this church. There were many issues on the conducting of the ceremony involving my wife and me. How sad for them that communication failed. My words of mild rebuke in a phone conversation shortly after the wedding with their minister about some difficulties and the lack of maturity in their constituency appear to have bearing on the root cause of this detachment. I called it like I saw it. No follow up has been offered.
My statement about wanting to be in heaven with them has taken a back seat at this time. Heaven cannot be a place of broken relationships over mundane matters. Reconciliation will have to come somewhere along the way; Scripture mandates it. There has been no expression of love and appreciation that I previously felt from anyone. In fact a cold reception was felt during the wedding which gives credence to my explanation. Something changed. Apparently that church as a whole has taken offense to us. Thus my respect for them has faded in this field of the dark unknown.
My reasoning for this conclusion lies in the ungodly gossip that exists within the confines of the church. I find this to be an on-going problem in most congregations that I observed within the organization that I have parted company with. The negative response may be due to our finding and expressing true freedom we have in Christ. We are willing to please Him alone and enjoy the life He provides. We are not condemned but set free to take pleasure in the abundance he showers upon us without feelings of guilt.
A lack of grounding in the rightful foundations of faith contributes to their conundrum as well. Perhaps offenses were taken of our liberty expressed during the wedding ceremony. Or maybe it was the firmness of how we were going to be participants in the ceremony and celebration. I was the officiating minister at the request of my son, the groom, and my wife provided all labor for decorations at the petition of the bride and her parents. In the future I will avoid illogical compromise to accommodate the wishes of those who have no right to request such. Lesson learned.
I attempted to ground this church community in the Word of God for approximately five years. It has been their choice to forget, respond or ignore. If they wish to remain minute, they should keep doing it the old way with the old mind set. I repent of any contribution I may have made to this circumstance of stunted growth. Emotional moments are not worship no matter how extreme it is; sadly it is merely moments of ecstasy brought about by conviction that passes by Monday morning. The traditionalism of these encounters will be condemned by the very Christ they claim to serve; it is hindering the express purpose of the church to MATURE and GROW! I sincerely have no desire to preach a message to them at this time because of what I fear the message of hardness would be and the rejection I would undoubtedly feel. Only God can direct me to do so and His grace would have to sustain me.
Is this a condemnation from me? Is it a justification for my unwanted disassociation? By no means are those my intents. If it be prophetic in fulfilling my gifting, then so be it; I am only the messenger. The love for their souls remains intact. I do care for them and the memories of great moments with friends; however there are times to move to new heights. Yes, as I stated, our lives have been enriched by knowing them. But now the vein of value has been mined to exhaustion and we proceed to new depths in the eternal kingdom.
I applaud them for being there during our past time of hurt and need. But now I prod them to move to greater depths in Christ. I encourage them to refuse to be stagnant and live in a rut of traditionalism that will blind and consume true passion for God. This is a sad scenario for a potentially awesome community of believers. Small thinking will hinder propagating the Gospel of Jesus Christ that sets men free. It is time to assess your place and take affirmative action to repent and do the work God has called you to. Get out of your comfort zone! Let change come in your worship after you have waited for the Holy Spirit to direct with an open mind. Do not become obstinate in your stance for that will only hinder your progress.
Speaking metaphorically I have been in the belly of the fish, the lion’s den, the prison of despair, exiled to Patmos, chased out of the city, beat up and robbed by thieves, slandered by friends and hung out to dry, shipwrecked upon the sea, and even stood before a firing squad. Through it all I have learned to trust in God alone, faith in Him has made be strong . . . bring it on! I waited for the Holy Spirit and worshipped the God I serve. I am equipped to fight in the warfare of good versus evil. I can witness of His power and might and do the works I’ve been sent to do. The blessings of God far outweigh the poundings of the enemy.”I will lift up my head . . . my help comes from the Lord.”
Saturday, February 19, 2011
What Spirit Controls You?
I have often been unwontedly humbled by someone God placed in my path to confirm that “it isn’t all about me!” We serve a far better purpose on earth than one to acquire praise or esteem of man that endures for a season. We are social creatures. What do we do to communicate? We must vent and talk. There are times we act. I believe that we best live, serve, react, and express with God’s directives. When we leave God out of the equation there will be tendency to justify all our actions and become egotistical about our gifting. With that in mind I have seen too many failures recently to not consider the seriousness of the problem called “egotism and pride.”
What is there about a public forum or social network that lends to self-aggrandizement? In simpler terms is it boasting in one’s accomplishment or posturing in society amongst peers and those who have placed us on a high place? I have unfortunately sensed this apparent action in recent connections I have made with “friends” who accepted me on Face Book. It is not that I am unable to appreciate or recognize the deserved blessings. I can honor the positions they hold or abilities they have; I feel it just isn’t necessary to tell the greatness you have accomplished in this particular forum. Discretion should be the rule to follow. When misappropriated it imposes authority rather than respect. In this kind of scenario the ego enters so we can have approval of someone who may feel inferior and that we can remain on the pedestal that they have put us on. The Bible calls it an arrogant spirit. Manipulation of persons is evil. Receiving the accolades of man may reduce your honor before the King of Kings.
In composing this piece I had to examine my motive and unction for writing it. Several questions came to mind. Was I jealous of something or someone? Have I taken offense to something said? Was I upset with the fact they get more response to something I had previously said or done and no one had noticed ME? These are just some of the serious question I personally must address. At first glance perhaps offense was taken. But my conclusion: My relationship with the LORD counts more than anything. I must live with integrity before HIM. I must bear good fruit and avoid being tainted by any of the slighting or ignoring I feel. It isn’t about feelings it is about holy obedience.
My God given talents are different than those who have been exposed to multitudes of peoples through travel and the like. My path through life has different challenges. Some of my noticeable seclusion has enhanced my gifting and matured me. I am not disappointed in what I have been called to do. The failures of my past will not control the future God has set for me. I will utilize those situations to build upon instead of throwing back at the circumstance. I cannot, nor do I need to place blame. I must “press on towards the mark of the high calling of God.”
I do want people to know that I unequivocally and without reservation declare that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Lord. It is my purpose to serve Him. Those who receive me and share in my gifting, I thank you. For those who ignore or reject my gifting, I encourage you to find and give place to Him above all. Not all of our paths will merge in congruence but someday we will inherit the eternal life we have strived for.
What is there about a public forum or social network that lends to self-aggrandizement? In simpler terms is it boasting in one’s accomplishment or posturing in society amongst peers and those who have placed us on a high place? I have unfortunately sensed this apparent action in recent connections I have made with “friends” who accepted me on Face Book. It is not that I am unable to appreciate or recognize the deserved blessings. I can honor the positions they hold or abilities they have; I feel it just isn’t necessary to tell the greatness you have accomplished in this particular forum. Discretion should be the rule to follow. When misappropriated it imposes authority rather than respect. In this kind of scenario the ego enters so we can have approval of someone who may feel inferior and that we can remain on the pedestal that they have put us on. The Bible calls it an arrogant spirit. Manipulation of persons is evil. Receiving the accolades of man may reduce your honor before the King of Kings.
In composing this piece I had to examine my motive and unction for writing it. Several questions came to mind. Was I jealous of something or someone? Have I taken offense to something said? Was I upset with the fact they get more response to something I had previously said or done and no one had noticed ME? These are just some of the serious question I personally must address. At first glance perhaps offense was taken. But my conclusion: My relationship with the LORD counts more than anything. I must live with integrity before HIM. I must bear good fruit and avoid being tainted by any of the slighting or ignoring I feel. It isn’t about feelings it is about holy obedience.
My God given talents are different than those who have been exposed to multitudes of peoples through travel and the like. My path through life has different challenges. Some of my noticeable seclusion has enhanced my gifting and matured me. I am not disappointed in what I have been called to do. The failures of my past will not control the future God has set for me. I will utilize those situations to build upon instead of throwing back at the circumstance. I cannot, nor do I need to place blame. I must “press on towards the mark of the high calling of God.”
I do want people to know that I unequivocally and without reservation declare that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Lord. It is my purpose to serve Him. Those who receive me and share in my gifting, I thank you. For those who ignore or reject my gifting, I encourage you to find and give place to Him above all. Not all of our paths will merge in congruence but someday we will inherit the eternal life we have strived for.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER - THE FIRST STEP
Our church, Koinonia Christian Fellowship, has begun a home group meeting called Journey Groups. There are more than forty of these groups meeting weekly or biweekly to establish community and make greater connection with attendees. The count reveals nearly 500 people have signed up to be in a group.
We are hosting one such group in our home that will meet weekly for 11 weeks, then break for the summer and resume in the fall. Our first meeting was February 9, 2011. We had eight in attendance counting my wife and I. Two others notified us of their absence due to illness in the family.
We had great fellowship and discussion on the first chapter of the Book of Acts from the Bible. Everyone participated and contributed to the study. We affirmed our Pastor’s statement that God is indeed ALIVE and can work in hearts and lives of people and He is listening to our prayers and involved in our lives. It is essential to believe the Holy Spirit is foundational to our belief and fellowship (Koinonia) is necessary.
Following our meeting we had light refreshments and beverages for our guests. They left us with the impression that they enjoyed the group and looked forward to next week.
I am expecting God to take us on our JOURNEY together with blessings and spiritual growth in the body of Christ. I give special honor to my wife who worked real hard to prepare our home for a wonderful, pleasant reception of our new group/family.
We are hosting one such group in our home that will meet weekly for 11 weeks, then break for the summer and resume in the fall. Our first meeting was February 9, 2011. We had eight in attendance counting my wife and I. Two others notified us of their absence due to illness in the family.
We had great fellowship and discussion on the first chapter of the Book of Acts from the Bible. Everyone participated and contributed to the study. We affirmed our Pastor’s statement that God is indeed ALIVE and can work in hearts and lives of people and He is listening to our prayers and involved in our lives. It is essential to believe the Holy Spirit is foundational to our belief and fellowship (Koinonia) is necessary.
Following our meeting we had light refreshments and beverages for our guests. They left us with the impression that they enjoyed the group and looked forward to next week.
I am expecting God to take us on our JOURNEY together with blessings and spiritual growth in the body of Christ. I give special honor to my wife who worked real hard to prepare our home for a wonderful, pleasant reception of our new group/family.
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