Looking Back But Looking Forward

In an earlier blog post of January 11, 2010 I gave positive and uplifting praise to a church congregation we had been associated with. Several months have lapsed since any contact has been made with them or their leadership. For an undeclared reason our acceptance has vanished. This blog is intended to address the whys and wherefores from my experience and observation.


I was presented with probable reconnection again in the next few months at the time of the previous blog posting. It would be an opportunity to minister to our friends once again. As of this post not word one has been received to return for ministry and renew fellowship.

I think it sad but oddly humorous how certain concepts and respect is cast aside over diminutive misconceptions. I believe this particular estrangement has a source attached to the marital issues of my son’s wedding to a girl from this church. There were many issues on the conducting of the ceremony involving my wife and me. How sad for them that communication failed. My words of mild rebuke in a phone conversation shortly after the wedding with their minister about some difficulties and the lack of maturity in their constituency appear to have bearing on the root cause of this detachment. I called it like I saw it. No follow up has been offered.

My statement about wanting to be in heaven with them has taken a back seat at this time. Heaven cannot be a place of broken relationships over mundane matters. Reconciliation will have to come somewhere along the way; Scripture mandates it. There has been no expression of love and appreciation that I previously felt from anyone. In fact a cold reception was felt during the wedding which gives credence to my explanation. Something changed. Apparently that church as a whole has taken offense to us. Thus my respect for them has faded in this field of the dark unknown.

My reasoning for this conclusion lies in the ungodly gossip that exists within the confines of the church. I find this to be an on-going problem in most congregations that I observed within the organization that I have parted company with. The negative response may be due to our finding and expressing true freedom we have in Christ. We are willing to please Him alone and enjoy the life He provides. We are not condemned but set free to take pleasure in the abundance he showers upon us without feelings of guilt.

A lack of grounding in the rightful foundations of faith contributes to their conundrum as well. Perhaps offenses were taken of our liberty expressed during the wedding ceremony. Or maybe it was the firmness of how we were going to be participants in the ceremony and celebration. I was the officiating minister at the request of my son, the groom, and my wife provided all labor for decorations at the petition of the bride and her parents. In the future I will avoid illogical compromise to accommodate the wishes of those who have no right to request such. Lesson learned.

I attempted to ground this church community in the Word of God for approximately five years. It has been their choice to forget, respond or ignore. If they wish to remain minute, they should keep doing it the old way with the old mind set. I repent of any contribution I may have made to this circumstance of stunted growth. Emotional moments are not worship no matter how extreme it is; sadly it is merely moments of ecstasy brought about by conviction that passes by Monday morning. The traditionalism of these encounters will be condemned by the very Christ they claim to serve; it is hindering the express purpose of the church to MATURE and GROW! I sincerely have no desire to preach a message to them at this time because of what I fear the message of hardness would be and the rejection I would undoubtedly feel. Only God can direct me to do so and His grace would have to sustain me.

Is this a condemnation from me? Is it a justification for my unwanted disassociation? By no means are those my intents. If it be prophetic in fulfilling my gifting, then so be it; I am only the messenger. The love for their souls remains intact. I do care for them and the memories of great moments with friends; however there are times to move to new heights. Yes, as I stated, our lives have been enriched by knowing them. But now the vein of value has been mined to exhaustion and we proceed to new depths in the eternal kingdom.

I applaud them for being there during our past time of hurt and need. But now I prod them to move to greater depths in Christ. I encourage them to refuse to be stagnant and live in a rut of traditionalism that will blind and consume true passion for God. This is a sad scenario for a potentially awesome community of believers. Small thinking will hinder propagating the Gospel of Jesus Christ that sets men free. It is time to assess your place and take affirmative action to repent and do the work God has called you to. Get out of your comfort zone! Let change come in your worship after you have waited for the Holy Spirit to direct with an open mind. Do not become obstinate in your stance for that will only hinder your progress.

Speaking metaphorically I have been in the belly of the fish, the lion’s den, the prison of despair, exiled to Patmos, chased out of the city, beat up and robbed by thieves, slandered by friends and hung out to dry, shipwrecked upon the sea, and even stood before a firing squad. Through it all I have learned to trust in God alone, faith in Him has made be strong . . . bring it on! I waited for the Holy Spirit and worshipped the God I serve. I am equipped to fight in the warfare of good versus evil. I can witness of His power and might and do the works I’ve been sent to do. The blessings of God far outweigh the poundings of the enemy.”I will lift up my head . . . my help comes from the Lord.”

What Spirit Controls You?

I have often been unwontedly humbled by someone God placed in my path to confirm that “it isn’t all about me!” We serve a far better purpose on earth than one to acquire praise or esteem of man that endures for a season. We are social creatures. What do we do to communicate? We must vent and talk. There are times we act. I believe that we best live, serve, react, and express with God’s directives. When we leave God out of the equation there will be tendency to justify all our actions and become egotistical about our gifting. With that in mind I have seen too many failures recently to not consider the seriousness of the problem called “egotism and pride.”


What is there about a public forum or social network that lends to self-aggrandizement? In simpler terms is it boasting in one’s accomplishment or posturing in society amongst peers and those who have placed us on a high place? I have unfortunately sensed this apparent action in recent connections I have made with “friends” who accepted me on Face Book. It is not that I am unable to appreciate or recognize the deserved blessings. I can honor the positions they hold or abilities they have; I feel it just isn’t necessary to tell the greatness you have accomplished in this particular forum. Discretion should be the rule to follow. When misappropriated it imposes authority rather than respect. In this kind of scenario the ego enters so we can have approval of someone who may feel inferior and that we can remain on the pedestal that they have put us on. The Bible calls it an arrogant spirit. Manipulation of persons is evil. Receiving the accolades of man may reduce your honor before the King of Kings.

In composing this piece I had to examine my motive and unction for writing it. Several questions came to mind. Was I jealous of something or someone? Have I taken offense to something said? Was I upset with the fact they get more response to something I had previously said or done and no one had noticed ME? These are just some of the serious question I personally must address. At first glance perhaps offense was taken. But my conclusion: My relationship with the LORD counts more than anything. I must live with integrity before HIM. I must bear good fruit and avoid being tainted by any of the slighting or ignoring I feel. It isn’t about feelings it is about holy obedience.

My God given talents are different than those who have been exposed to multitudes of peoples through travel and the like. My path through life has different challenges. Some of my noticeable seclusion has enhanced my gifting and matured me. I am not disappointed in what I have been called to do. The failures of my past will not control the future God has set for me. I will utilize those situations to build upon instead of throwing back at the circumstance. I cannot, nor do I need to place blame. I must “press on towards the mark of the high calling of God.”

I do want people to know that I unequivocally and without reservation declare that Jesus Christ is my Savior and Lord. It is my purpose to serve Him. Those who receive me and share in my gifting, I thank you. For those who ignore or reject my gifting, I encourage you to find and give place to Him above all. Not all of our paths will merge in congruence but someday we will inherit the eternal life we have strived for.

OUR JOURNEY TOGETHER - THE FIRST STEP

Our church, Koinonia Christian Fellowship, has begun a home group meeting called Journey Groups. There are more than forty of these groups meeting weekly or biweekly to establish community and make greater connection with attendees. The count reveals nearly 500 people have signed up to be in a group.


We are hosting one such group in our home that will meet weekly for 11 weeks, then break for the summer and resume in the fall. Our first meeting was February 9, 2011. We had eight in attendance counting my wife and I. Two others notified us of their absence due to illness in the family.

We had great fellowship and discussion on the first chapter of the Book of Acts from the Bible. Everyone participated and contributed to the study. We affirmed our Pastor’s statement that God is indeed ALIVE and can work in hearts and lives of people and He is listening to our prayers and involved in our lives. It is essential to believe the Holy Spirit is foundational to our belief and fellowship (Koinonia) is necessary.

Following our meeting we had light refreshments and beverages for our guests. They left us with the impression that they enjoyed the group and looked forward to next week.

I am expecting God to take us on our JOURNEY together with blessings and spiritual growth in the body of Christ. I give special honor to my wife who worked real hard to prepare our home for a wonderful, pleasant reception of our new group/family.

Thinking on Experience

As we have progressed in to the New Year I have been thinking a lot about life as I have come to experience it. This is not to say I am overly ecstatic or even disappointed. It is just some more of my pondering.

I can say that some of my life choices have not always been the best decisions. That being said, all of life is really a learning process. Hopefully I have learned through my years of living on this earth. Someone has said, “experience is the best teacher,” this could be in many instances.

When we do not get the lesson concept the first time “around the mountain or through the wilderness,” then most likely we will have go around or through it again. The repeated time(s) may be duplication or with slight variations of possible learning scenarios. My problem is remembering, especially if the mountain or wilderness is big.

Maybe it is like learning math, you do it over again if it is wrong so you can get the correct answer. Of course that is a textbook case, and life has so many more variables, including time, persons, events, etc. But maybe you get my meaning.

My stage of life right now is one of seeking inner peace regardless of who it pleases or displeases. By now I have learned quite succinctly that I cannot please everybody that I might desire to please. It is not that I want to bring offense to those around me, but I must have spiritual contentment in my soul. That presence of contentment by the Spirit will allow me to best deal with others I may come in to contact with. I will be pious in this vein of thinking because I do know the importance of my personal relationship with the Savior, Jesus Christ.

I could expound upon portions of Holy Scripture that is given in the Bible. Would this be considered Bible “thumping”? For some, I am sure this would be the conclusion. But if I use reason based on biblical principles and allow the Spirit in me to control my communication processes then I will be more readily received and understood. Conversion to understanding would be by that same Spirit for the receiving individual(s).

Do I have to stand in a pulpit or teach in a church building to minister? No! Again, no! The church is far more than a building or organization. We are to be our brother’s keeper by doing deeds that honor our Creator. I appreciate the facilities that serve as gathering places for those of like faith, but these are not the sole places of worship. Worship must begin in the heart with relationship and progress to the mind and become infectious. The infectious condition brings unity and eternal purpose, pleasing God.

My life has been good. I want to go on improving with right thinking, responsible ministry, and sensing the joy of my salvation. I desire to share through writing and verbalizing with all I may encounter. I admit my imperfections but I, like Paul the Apostle, want to strive towards maturity that will bring me safely to my eternal home.

Resolutions.... ?????

It is not only a new calendar year but I realize it is another decade that fades into the recesses of memory. It has been time of survival and new experiences. Obstacles and issues have often hindered or delayed progress.


It has never been my practice to make New Year’s resolutions because of all the hoopla and failures of others who have done so. But maybe I now step up to the plate and make an exception for this year and see how it plays out. This may be my rebel nature finally surfacing.

Perhaps every decision I made or others made for me weren’t thoroughly thought through but nonetheless they were done. Consequences will follow as it is with anything. Generally all has not been too devastating; some of the worst has turned out to bring benefits as well as new perspectives and new friends. The torture of feeling mistreated and ignored often overwhelmed those things that had been validated in my life. It is time to face a new period of my life.

As I approach this New Year and decade, I resolve to focus on the right stuff. I don’t want to get caught up in any faction that brings division to friendships and destroys livelihoods. Phoniness stinks.

Time has brought a sense of my ability to express feelings and opinions that are strongly supported through the knowledge of God’s Word that I have instilled within me for the majority of my life. I do not always have to be a “yes” man to simply find favor with someone. As God’s child I am highly favored.

I resolve to continue to serve my church and family with renewed spiritual strength that will sustain us in the difficulties of life. I want the joy of the Lord to permeate my being and be my strength.

I resolve to maintain healthy habits in my diet.

I resolve to continue in honesty of expressing my feelings.

I resolve to be as productive and active as my body and health permit.

I resolve to be a better husband and love my wife more, and tell her so.

I resolve to read through the Bible in this year and listen to God speak.

Is blogging revealing?

 I have considered the response to this question after much examination of past postings and current situations. I believe the reader of these posts can possibly read between the lines and discover the authentic individual, the real me, who wrote the blog. It is a discovery that we definitely live in a hurting but healing world. I have found consolation in writing from my heart and disclosing my sentiments.

I have previously described my posts as “therapy”. I continue to have that same point of view. Through the process of composing my soul becomes aligned to a better and more complete view of my life purpose. The intrusion is my disregard to follow-through and be proactive. I must become accountable to the principles set forth “in the lines and between the lines”. Adaptation and change are not always going to be easy, but absolutely necessary.

I, like most others, have my likes and dislikes about changes on the job. For example, I am having a very difficult time with updated programs on my work computer. I find the new computer keyboard is more difficult for me personally to manipulate as well as the mouse for some reason. (It’s probably just me.) However, I must try to adapt and make the best of it.

Life is full of lessons, if only you and I will learn them. My intention in writing these posts is to assist us both in living life as intended. I am a Christian who believes in the fullness of the Good News brought to us through Jesus Christ. If I fail, He forgives me as I ask and offer my true repentance, and likewise He will do for you. Enjoy life and be full of the Joy of the Lord!

UPDATE

Here we are again at the close of another year. It is amusing how everybody is getting older, the kids are growing up, the memory is short-circuiting on the present, but the past is real clear. I just wanted to write a few words to update things happening in our life.


It has been a busy year for us as a family; love was in the air. Micah got married in August to Ashley. That meant much work earlier in the year for family and friends. My wife did an outstanding job with the decorations; I am proud of her and her work. We are thankful for all the support. I was blessed to officiate the wedding and pronounce them husband and wife.

I am still working for the Housing Authority as a Family Service Coordinator, Carolyn works keeping things up at home and one day a week for our dear friends. Micah remains employed at Vie Del and Ashley is working for the largest retailer in America, Wal Mart. They are living with us temporarily until the economy improves (God willing) and they can save enough to get their own place. Titus , our puppy dog is still with us, although a pain sometimes to accommodate we still love him. He will be nine years old in February; is that 63 in dog years? Wow! If so he is almost as old as me. I did become entitled to Medicare in October, oh my!

During the course of the year we have occasioned trips to the “Happiest Place on Earth.” I’m not sure about renewing our annual passes in April. We do plan a few more trips that way after the holidays. Carolyn and I got to go for three days in November and our friends let us use their motor home. We had a wonderful time. Got some shopping done too while there. I am a big fan of Jiminy Cricket and I finally found a limited edition piece that I purchased which is about eight inches in height, a real nice piece for my collection. Carolyn is still into Cinderella and she got a Marie Osmond Cinderella doll. The kids are into their vinylmations and we got them a couple of things, I think they liked them.

I greet all the readers of this post with best wishes for a blessed Christmas season and an improved new year. Keep Christ at the center and acknowledge His grace to all you come into contact with.