Tribute to My Mother-in-law

On January 28, 2015 my mother-in-law, Margie Lorene Folkner breathed her first breath of heavenly air as she left this earth for a home prepared for her by her Jesus. No, I do not claim to know all about the eternity that awaits us at our passing, but I do know of the faith that sustains in times of trouble. Mom was a woman who adhered to the biblical teachings about a place prepared for her.

As we laid her to rest on February 3, 2015 here are my words I shared:

I met this gentle and soft-spoken godly woman about 32 years ago. I was interested in her daughter, Carolyn.

She was a woman of few words but I knew she sorta liked me. At least I sensed that. Now I am her favorite son-in-law. (married her only daughter)

As I spent time with her and Carolyn, it was at church where I learned of her “power” voice. It resonated with authority. I remember being in her adult Sunday school class that one Sunday, and her godly power was truly there. Her voice resounded with the truth of the Scriptures. This was evident as time went on and I was in other services with her and she was asked to testify — She knew the Word of God and declared it with authority and believed it.

She reflected the true character of Christianity. Any man would be pleased to have such a mother-in-law. Carolyn often said she loved me more than her. I felt the confidence she had in me and respected her.

I never heard her raise her voice in anger or lash out at anyone. If you needed godly intervention, you called on her. Through the events in Carolyn and my lives she was often the go-to source for intercession.

I am thankful for her wise frugality that has passed down to her daughter, my wife—- it means survival in a difficult and cruel world. We appreciated the coupons and tokens of her excess soaps, shampoos, and other products.

I will say — she was a serious game player! She could literally skunk me in the scrabble games, or any word game for that matter. A true strategist. 

Eventually I got to the point of being able to tease her about boyfriends and she would put on that blushing smile, chuckle a bit and always say “no”. 

When the terrible event of dementia attacked her, our visits always included my question about her fictitious boy friend I called "Henry". At each visit I would ask her about "Henry" and she would smile in brief recognition of what I was doing. It brought a smile to my face too. Sometimes she would even chuckle a bit.

It was difficult to visit her the past two years in the rest home and for me to know where she was. It hurt to see her begin to rapidly deteriorate and become less conversant.

I look forward to seeing her in her wholeness and I think maybe we will sit down by the River of Life and join the rest of the family in a game of heavenly scrabble. And we will forget about "Henry".

Thank you, Mom, for bringing Carolyn into this world for me. I am forever grateful and blessed. You have impacted my life with your love and faith.

Tough Times

It has been difficult these past few weeks for my wife and me. We have suffered a loss of her precious mother on January 28, 2015. This was bitter sweet experience since she has suffered from severe dementia since February 2013. Memorial service was held on February 3, 2015 which I was honored to moderate. Many wonderful memories of her 84 years of her life were shared. Our faith tells us that she is in a far better place now. The event of placing her body to rest had its many challenges. My wife conducted herself as a brave soul through all the process in spite of the observations or opinions of others. I am proud of the strength God has given her. Yes, she misses her mother, but knows that God has a way of filling the vacancy. With our parents all passed we have become the elders . . . and with that said:

I have had my anger riled over other various events. It seems as though not many value my opinion or show consideration for it. Relationships are frayed over matters of disrespect. My hope is that the younger generation will get the picture and do the right thing. You need to listen with your heart and not just your head. Just because you have a high-paying job or higher education does not mean you excel in the things of life that will matter in eternity. Be truthful with me and do not jump to conclusions as you expect of me. Listen to my opinion as you expect me to listen to yours. Above all, honor all your elders, even if in disagreement. Because there will come a day that you will face the hard cold facts of reaping what you sow.

I have been a soft spoken person most of my life and kept many things to myself. I have learned through my open ears much more than through the opening of my mouth. I will continue to hear what God has to say and follow Him as closely as I possibly can; and if I experience failure, I will repent, receive His forgiveness and keep going on the path to His righteousness. There are advices that I can give to the younger ones if they will but give ear and heart. It is my desire to save them from the griefs that I have born in my short life-span.

There is no desire on my behalf to make this a rebuke, but rather, a lesson to make life better. Yes, it does give me opportunity to vent my frustrations but to review and revise if necessary to avoid further unnecessary conflict.

You see, it doesn't matter to me what your opinion of me happens to be. It is God's judgment of my life that will count in all things in the end. And I ask God to continue to give me compassion for people  that cross my path. For if we do not have compassion we most likely lack the right passion. I am reminded of the concise vision for our church is PASSION FOR GOD AND COMPASSION FOR PEOPLE. To pursue this vision we must have (a God's heart) AGAPE LOVE. I've got to "Love You With The Love Of The Lord."