Healing of Time

My writing about the terrible wrongdoing against my person and family has become a soiled spot in my life that is fading with each passing day. The odious act is blending in with the background of my life. The stain will remain for posterity, but I will be clean from its stigma. I only reiterate it briefly here to make a point. The expression that “time heals all wounds” has some semblance of truth. Although my anger has diminished, there remains a need to continue therapy through this method.

I have learned lessons from the experience that will be reflected in how I manage my future. I now realize the insignificance and ineptness of those who masterminded the offense. I loudly proclaim that we did not just disappear from the scene or ride off into the sunset to die in the desert of despair. They may have liked or expected it that way. They must recognize the requirement to repent and apologize with true remorse to affect my reception of any expression of “sorry” now. The injury they inflicted knowingly and wantonly upon me, my integrity, and family must be understood. This was a very serious alliance against us. Their expectation of no retribution for such appalling operation is absurd. The anguish we initially felt was very deep and difficult to get over. We have crossed over into a better land of promise.

I have determined to shake it off and get on with God’s call in my life within the boundaries He allows. My course has been altered but God has made the crooked places straight for me to follow. To permit myself to fester over the incident only brings me down to their level. The abandonment and betrayal now serve as my strength to rely more upon God; I want to live on a level far above the devil.

The meaning of Romans 8:28 is clearly revealed through God’s demonstration of caring oversight and protection for us in spite of the jealousy and ill-will directed toward us. His amazing grace sustains us. I no longer want to avenge myself; I am blessed in a most improved way. I am no longer bound by traditions and schedules. Trying to please those of authority is not contributing to my success; I was misguided.

The Lord says, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay.” My Lord is just. Any vengeance of poor health, financial struggles, marital problems, and the like all are permitted from the heavenly. Hopefully the lessons can be quickly learned and repentance proffered.

My sights are now focused upon fulfilling God’s will in my life. I am determined to not allow any past event ruin my future as determined and led by God. Reference to the event will be used in the future to emphasize God’s power and provision. I do not serve man and acknowledge that it is better to obey than sacrifice. New doors have opened for us in manners that are amazing. My current job allows me the freedom necessary to influence through counsel many people, staff and clients. It is truly ministry. I also use the internet through blogging and podcasting to get God’s message out. (Check out these two sites: http://lwaggonner.blogspot.com/ and http://lawman45.podbean.com/#.) Plans are to eventually get a website of my own and post materials, podcasts, and video blogs. My intent is to keep real and avoid religious platitudes that are shunned by most of society. I want my message to touch and transform lives, not make somebody religious. We have too much religion and not enough relationship in the world already.

Adherents to legalism need to take note. You have put on the appearance of holiness but Jesus spoke to the Pharisees and said they were, “full of dead men’s bones.” By subjecting and imposing your rules on others you too are prone to be Pharisaical. Surely you are smarter than a Pharisee. Might I suggest you establish and live your own convictions and respect differences? Remember, God looks on the heart, not the outward appearance. I believe it is our attitude that determines our altitude. Living in the true liberty of Christ will ensure our place in heaven. That liberty will not infringe upon any one else’s liberty. The Bible declares Christ is the vine and we are the branches and cautions us to abide in the vine. My life (limb) may be adjacent to yours or far away, but our source of life is one in the same.

This is not to excuse or even forget what occurred in the past. It may well serve as a launch pad for dealing with serious matters in life as time continues to march on. Every event in our life can destroy or impart blessings to us. I must choose to live above my circumstances and not let them get my spirit down. It is also important that I not be used by Satan to bring destruction to someone else’s life.

Wisdom?

(February 2, 2010) I went to the dentist. I had to have one of my wisdom teeth extracted, the upper left. Actually it went quite well along with a deep cleaning for part of my teeth. The extracted tooth had an unfixable cavity. It did remove the tooth ache pain I had been having for several days. I only experienced soreness and tenderness of the gum for a time.

I made several comedic remarks on Facebook about the loss of some of my wisdom. I know it really is only a moniker for the tooth identity.

According to Wikipedia, “A wisdom tooth is in humans any of the usually four third molars, including mandibular third molar and maxillary third molar. Wisdom teeth usually appear between the ages of 17 and 25. They are generally thought to be called wisdom teeth because they appear so late—much later than the other teeth, at an age where people are presumably "wiser" than as a child, when the other teeth erupt. The English wisdom tooth is derived from Latin dens sapientiae. The same root is shared by numerous other languages. There exists a Dutch folk etymology which states that the Dutch word for wisdom tooth verstandskies is derived from "far-standing" (ver-staand) molar, and that mistranslations of the Dutch word (in which verstand translates to wisdom) are the root for corresponding words in other European languages.”

I thought this was interesting information. Further etymology of “wisdom teeth” can be found on the Wikipedia website as well as other sites.

I did enjoy having fun with all my friends and playing on the word usage. The nice thing about the extraction was the removal of pain. This reminds me of life, when we get rid of the source of our trouble things are improved. It’s kind of ironic to discuss the removal of a “wisdom” tooth to lessen our pain.

A Return to the Past but Looking to the Futue

Our recent opportunity to return to fellowship and minister to a community of believers of our past was comfortable and felt normal. It was if we had never left and yet we realize it was over eleven years since we moved away. We had returned a few times on short visits but none of them were like this time. It was so comforting and encouraging to be received with such open arms and graciousness. We felt appreciated and loved. I must say this is really the consistency of Christ’s love that should be practiced by all congregations. Their receptivity to our presence and the messages is a reflection on the positive leadership they have. In our hearts we desire to be with them permanently again, however, we must let God direct our steps and continue to be lead by His Holy Spirit.

We live our life in the spirit of Romans 8:28. The past events can be used as learning tools for our future; it can never be rewritten or redone. No matter how hard we try, we cannot change the past. Now we have to press on to improving our talents and abilities with God’s will to be the primary directive for the present and the future. In the meantime, if we error, we should ask for forgiveness and continue the journey onward to the prize of the high calling. Someone once said, “Yesterday is a cancelled check, tomorrow is a promissory note, but today is ready cash so use it wisely.” If I spend all my time living with regret I will not have time for today or tomorrow.

“Don’t worry!” “Be Happy!” Good words to live by. Fretting over what cannot be changed saps your energy to do what can be done. Our trust and confidence must be in the Lord who takes care of us today and knows what the future holds. Finding contentment is knowing who holds the future.